Hey, folks! Poppa Shane, here again, to offer the world another piece of my warped mind. Sometimes, certain topics are a challenge to write. Others, like the one I will get into today, practically write themselves.
In previous writings, I have examined words that sound funny when pronounced properly in English. This is done in the interest of expanding one’s vocabulary and getting a few laughs. Today’s word is not a funny sounding word, per se. As a matter of fact, the only thing that is funny about it is the very idea that I can use the word in a sentence and be able to carry out the action as intended. It’s a word that brings about some frustration or, maybe a few giggles (depending upon one’s mood when it is used). That word is – just.
“Just” is a word that has more than one definition. It can be an adjective to imply fairness or moral right in a situation. There may be SOME application behind that definition. However, for today’s purposes, I am going to speak more to the application of the word as an adverb which implies something is exact, or total, or singular in task or purpose. In other words, I am using the word “just” in these situations to mean “only”.
How is it, one may ask, that the use of the word “just” to mean “only” can lead to moments of frustration when applied by this definition of “only”? After all, it’s just a word. I used to think the same thing. I used to think I could just use the word “just” to imply that I was just going to do a particular task that was in my brain at that moment in time. The thought process is: a) I want to do task X. b) I intend to do only (or just) task X. c) I will complete task X from start to finish without interruption or additions to the process. In other words, I’m just going to do task X.
Now there was a time when I was able to just do something and go onto the next task (even if that next task was nothing). However, with the passing of time, the ability to just do something is either reduced or lost altogether. That ability has been replaced with an inside voice that points out that the task will either be interrupted and/or there will be some additions to the process. That inside voice is like an evil genie with a maniacal laugh. [We’ll call him the Just Genie for simplicity.] The inside voice sounds a lot like James Earl Jones. One of the reasons that the voice sounds like James Earl Jones is that Morgan Freeman and Brad Garrett both declined. [let me clarify that James Earl Jones, Morgan Freeman, and Brad Garrett had no conversation with me whatsoever. With that said, just use your imagination and go with it, please.]
Over time, I have discovered that all I really need to do to summon the Just Genie is to simply use the word “just” out loud in a sentence as intended by its definition as an adverb. As soon as I do that, the Just Genie begins laughing and the word “just” no longer applies. For example, I may want to go to the post office and see if my PO box has anything. I grab my keys and tell my wife: “I’m just going to go to the post office. I’ll be back shortly.” As soon as I say those words, I can hear the Just Genie and his evil laugh: “HA! HA! HAAAAAA!” [Again, use your imagination, please, and assume that my James Earl Jones impression is right on the money.] I can faintly hear the laughter but, naively, do not understand why. I pull out of the driveway and head to the post office. Suddenly, my phone rings. I use my hands free feature and answer. It’s the Missus…”Hi, I was wondering if you could run up to the store and grab some tea. We’re out and I forgot it when I went to the store earlier.” I ask her: “Do you need anything else or just tea?” Evil Genie: “YOU FOOL! SHE”S GOT YOU, NOW!” [Man, my James Earl Jones ain’t too bad.] The next thing you know, I am getting a text message with a list of 20 additional items to get at the store. This will be accompanied by two more text messages by the time I get to the checkout line. The whole time, the Just Genie is bellowing: “HA! HA! HAAAAAA!” [One person in the cereal aisle stopped and said: “Is that James Earl Jones?”]
I make my way to the car with a buggy full of groceries. I’m glad to have the task behind me. I’m thinking to myself: “Maybe I’ll go home and just play guitar for a bit.” Suddenly, I hear the genie again: “HA! HA! HAAAAAA!” My phone rings again. It’s my grandson..”Pop Pop, I was wondering if you could take me to store to get some bomb pops. It’s a hot day today.” Sure, Butter Bean. Let me stop at my house first and I’ll come get you.
As I was headed to get my grandson, I asked the Just Genie: “How did you do that? I didn’t even say “just” out loud that time.” The Just Genie said: “That wasn’t me. That was your grandson. He has way more power than I do. After all, I’m JUST a genie. By the way, you do a great James Earl Jones voice!”
BDGJM 