The Couch Set Vortex

My family is not one that sits in the lap of luxury. Don’t get me wrong. I have a good job. My wife and I are usually able to make ends meet. Mind you, it does sometimes feel like the ends are being held together by nothing more than static electricity. Still, we do okay. I have a job that I enjoy. We have a couple of older cars that get us from point A to point B.  We have a roof over our heads. We have food on the table. Life could be worse.

Still, there comes a time where changes must be made. We had been having some issues with our couch set. It had been handed down to us from some family friends. They had had it for a few years and were looking to replace after they moved. It was a decent enough set but it was truly beginning to show its age. With 5 adults and a grandchild in the house, sitting in the living room was a challenge whenever we had company over. In addition, the couch and loveseat had begun to sink in the middle of the seats. If you wanted to try doing something silly, like lying down on the couch, you were likely to sink in the middle and fold up like a cheap ironing board.

My wife and I came into some extra money and decided to take care of some big expenses. We paid off some lingering bills. We  had both of our vehicles repaired (which is okay because my mechanic’s daughter is getting some beautiful braces on her teeth). Of course, we also decided to take a plunge and get a new couch set. We got a great deal on a couch, loveseat and chair. All three pieces recline. The loveseat also rocks when it is not reclined. If that wasn’t enough, the love seat also has a storage compartment in the middle. Mind you, this storage compartment makes the term “love seat” a bit of a misnomer but still, it’s REALLY cool.

However, it appears that the couch set also comes with a vortex. The vortex gets activated when a person gets up from the couch and leave small items such as highlighters and the TV remote on the couch. The moment the person walks away, the item gets sucked down into the couch. This results in 3 adults on a desperate search for the missing item. While it is true that the item in question could have been placed into that nice little storage compartment in the middle of the love seat, the couch vortex also seems to suck away a person’s sense of logic and reason.

Now we are back at the three adults that are now on a quest to find the missing item. This means that the couch, which weighs just under a metric ton, needs to be pushed away from the wall. Once that is done, another of the three adults must crouch down behind the couch with a miner’s helmet to seek the missing item. The missing item is eventually found but not before ALSO finding 4 baby building blocks, a set of car keys, one of the cats (I THINK it was one of ours) and the receipt from the furniture store reminding us of the great deal we got.

The item is back in our hot little hands again and life is well. Is it frustrating to have to go through this ordeal several times a day? Of course it is. Still, once you sit on this couch, you are in hog heaven. As we speak, I am ready to prop up my feet and watch the football game. WAITAMINNIT! WHERE’S THE REMOTE? OH MANNNNNNNN!

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