It’s 2012 (And I Feel OK In Spite Of It)

Well, 2012 is finally upon us. I realize that 2012 is a subject that has prompted a lot of people to think that we will see TEOTWAWKI (The End Of The World As We Know It). Many further felt this was evidenced by the fact that R.E.M. disbanded in 2011. This event made me uneasy as I thought they had already disbanded some 10 years previously.
Still, we have some good things to look forward to in 2012. First of all, 2012 is a leap year. That means I get one extra day to pay bills and exercise. I might celebrate the occasion by buying a Slurpee. I’ll just have to figure out how many kettle bell lunges will be required to work it off. Other events include new musical output from longtime acts. On the rock front, Van Halen and Black Sabbath are both promising albums of new material. Van Halen is even promoting a tour in 2012. I take this as a positive sign that David Lee Roth has finally allayed his fears that Eddie Van Halen has another kid that no one knows about and is planning to turn the band into a family act. With reunions such as these, I am sure that Ricky Martin will inevitably sign a deal with Menudo and launch the “C’MON! SERIOUSLY?!” tour.
If you don’t want to hear new music, you can possibly look forward to going to a movie. 2012 will offer yet another Twilight film so that we may continue teaching young women that there is no hope for a lasting romantic relationship with a man who has a pulse. But wait, there’s hope. If you disliked Thor and loathed Captain America: The First Avenger, don’t fret. You get to see them again in The Avengers with Iron Man. OK, there’s a little hope. We can all even look forward to a 3-D release of Titanic. After all, what better way to appreciate Leonardo Dicaprio’s one dimensional performance than by wearing funny glasses that allows the viewer to see how flat something is from more than one angle.
OK, now that I have looked upon this schedule of events, I think I might forget about a concert or a movie. Instead, I will just stay home and relax with the new video game system I just got for Christmas. All I need to do is to clear the levels and enjoy hours of game play. This will be easy once I can negotiate my game controller. This controller includes (but is not limited to):

  • Two joysticks
  • One directional button (not to be confused with the joysticks).
  • Four individually colored round buttons
  • Two bumper buttons
  • Two trigger buttons

When you see the enemy alien approaching (using the radar map on the side of the screen), all you have to do is:

  1. Use one joystick to face the alien.
  2. Use the other joystick to aim your weapon. This is after you have hit one of the color buttons to choose the right weapon.
  3. Hit the trigger button to fire your weapon. This is not to be confused with the bumper button.

Now how hard can THAT be? I’ll let you know once I am able to get my soldier guy through a building without getting him killed. The good news is the controller is wireless so I can hurl it farther across the house when I get killed for the 17th time in 3 minutes. Here’s to another relaxing year. Happy New Year, everybody.

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